Getting dressed with nowhere to hide

On the slow work of taking up space

Confidence is built by repetition and it looks like I may be posting weekly on here. Yay me!

Recent Ruminations

I posted a picture and note during the week of me wearing an anklet over socks. Describing the action as highly impractical.

A dear friend gave me this cherished anklet

I’m not sure I’ve always been so pragmatic or whether it’s been conditioned into me but after posting that note, I thought about how I’ve always fought against wearing something or doing anything that feels like it could be “too much”. It’s probably my catholic upbringing that seeped far too deep into my psyche.

Often I’ve stopped myself from adding a piece of jewellery or a scarf because, it’ll “too loud” or “I might look too fashiony” or “too trendy”.

Even most recently when I’ve gotten more comfortable taking space and being seen, there’s still a niggling hesitation that I often blame “being practical” on.

Funny, that I recognise that being practical totally kills my experimentation and I totally resonate with what Asta shared in her post,

Practicality is a great floor. It’s a terrible ceiling.

If you want expansion—if you have a restlessness about your closet you can’t quite name, if you keep saving things to your phone that you never buy, if you look at certain things and feel something move—then practicality has quietly shifted from being your floor to being your ceiling. And most people don’t notice when that shift happened.

Practicality started as a tool. Then became a limitation.

I found myself doing this on Saturday when getting ready to go watch my son’s football game. I had planned to wear a blazer and sweatpants to make a very casual look feel a little bit dressier but I ended up dropping the blazer and wearing a denim chore jacket and sweats instead. Toning it down because I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard for an 8 year olds football game.

I felt very silly when I saw one of the mums in a beige blazer, leggings and trainers and she looked amazing!

And maybe that’s the next levelling up for me, building confidence by trying out things that feel highly impractical.

Anklets over socks.

Block heel mules as I bike for school pick up.

Tank tops over a shirt (this is a weird one but I often feel like I am wasting clothes by wearing a top over a shirt).

It was blazer week

I wore a blazer every day this week after reading Tina Boetto’s post on blazers, which is a must read.

8 Ways To Style The Blazer Hiding In Your Closet

I played around on Indyx and created and planned out 5 outfits on Sunday evening and wore them from Monday to Friday.

Blazer week and yes, I did feel very cool. Can you guess my favourite fit?

Melissa @slightlyoverdressed recommended the rust coloured ballon trousers from Zara and they delivered

the neon trainers are out for spring

I so enjoyed wearing a blazer and was so amused when the kids and the husband kept asking “why are you all dressed up”, the power of a blazer amirite?

Did you know women in perimenopause are more susceptible to burnout?

I attended a webinar this week as part of International Coaching Week on perimenopause and burnout. Curious to understand the links between the two after noticing that this last quarter made me feel like I was close to burning out. Not sure whether I am in perimenopause or not, but I am definitely less capable of handling stress than I used to be. Which apparently happens with decreasing oestrogen. Not sure if it’s ironic or purely cruel, but how horrible is it that when women need to handle more stress, their bodies do the opposite and reduce the hormones that allow them to better handle the complexities of being a woman in the prime of her life (I struggle with the word midlife).

and so this is why women in perimenopause are more likely to burnout because;

• our oestrogen is dropping so is our capacity to handle stress,

• the myriad of perimenopause symptoms keep us permanently unable to pinpoint what we are feeling and make it more difficult to pinpoint whether it’s burnout or something else,

• in our late 30,40s and 50s we are often juggling a lot and sometimes may not have the opportunity to rest and recover,

• without this recovery, we often compound stress then end up burnt out

I feel like we should all throw a collective tantrum. However what we all need is more self-compassion and making sure we are taking care of ourselves as much as we can.

Creating safety

Every week, I’ll be sharing what I’ve been reading, watching, doing to create a safe and regulated nervous system.

1. We’re all trying here is my current comfort watch. Of course a beautiful slice of life k-drama written by one of the greatest writers Park-Hae Young who has a way of writing dialogue that will make you cry and laugh at the same time. Her catalogue includes My Mister and My Liberation Notes, tv shows that are not glitzy or sparkly but capture the complexity of humanity.

   As an empath, these shows destroy me and I am often left on the verge of tears or fast forwarding scenes that I anticipate will be emotionally heavy but they also give me deep comfort when I feel some type of way.

2. I am painting my nails again, an activity that forces me to slow down and mono-task. Concentrating on applying thin layers of gel polish carefully to make sure I don’t have peeling nails in 24hrs. Win win because I’ve stopped spending €50 every 3-4 weeks for acrylics.

3. Listening to this Feminine Energy mix on YouTube, you cannot help but smile from the first track.

What’s regulating your nervous system at the moment? I’d love to know.

Thank you for being here,

Increasingly confident,

Nyachomba